How to talk with your roommate/bring up issues
- Use a private setting, don’t bring up issues in front of others.
- Be direct and clear about what is bothering you. If you don’t address the issue, nothing will get resolved
- Eye contact – keep eye contact when you are talking with your roommate. It lets them know you are paying attention.
- Don’t multi-task when talking with your roommate (ie: homework, playing games, texting, etc).
- Use “I” statements. “Sometimes 'I' feel it can get a bit too loud in here, do you think you can help keep it down a little?"
- Be patient, some people need a little time to digest information and make changes.
Things you should talk with roommate about
What to do if you come back after a roommate is sleeping, cleaning patterns, visitors, overnight guests, sharing of belongings, what is off limits, anything that you want your roommate to know about you. See our Roommate Agreement page for some help with these conversations.
Ways you shouldn’t address a problem
- Text message
- Post-it or other notes
- Just assuming your roommate knows that you are upset with them are NOT valid forms of communication
Did you know – the majority of roommate conflicts result from lack of communication?